This morning I was reminded of this story...
A friend of mine opened his wife’s underwear drawer and
picked up a silk paper wrapped package: “This”, he said, “ isn't any ordinary
package.” He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
“She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has
never put it on. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this
is it.” He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing
he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and
said:
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every
day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days
that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that
follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to
California from the mid-western town where my sister's family lives. I thought
about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the
things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still
thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and
dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing
about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and
friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be
a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these
moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event - such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are
losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I
want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done
had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted.
I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might
have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past
squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her
favorite food. I'm guessing I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with - someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write - one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it
is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift.
...Try not to forget friends...
xxx
